Marriage

As I sit here tonight I want to talk about marriage. I should preface this to say that I have only been married for approximately 9 months. Yep, 9 months. I am not an expert in this field, but I think I might have something to add to the conversation. When I imagined what life would be like to be married, I guess I had that childhood fantasy type dream. We would never fight, we would never say a mean thing, and we would never....you fill in the blank. Now, I absolutely LOVE my husband and wouldn't trade him for the world, but I think people should know what they are getting into. I have to laugh because all of the "house" I played as a child was not a mimicking of what marriage is. My sister and I use to play all of the time. We were married to NFL players, Kelly was with Tommy Kramer and I was, of course, with John Elway. I have often thought that childhood games can somewhat prepare us for adulthood. This I have found is not always the case.
First, the most important thing for a successful marriage is communication and I don't think I am the first one to say that, but I will say its UNDERSTANDING each others' communication. I can say something and Ryan can answer and it seems like we agree but have said the exact opposite of what we really mean. Just writing this makes me laugh thinking of the times when we look at each other and state, "What are we talking about?"
The next most important item would be to relax. Now, I am a pretty up-tight and high-strung individual and Ryan isn't. This is why we work so well together. I freak out and it doesn't seem to phase him. I could only wish for this trait. But, the more I listen to him and watch him, the more I understand this concept. I was reading a daily devotional and it said I needed to have a worry jar. In this worry jar I put all of my worries on little slips of paper and then place them into this jar. Now, you can decorate this jar to make it more personal, etc.... I have not personalize mine, but I keep it where I can see it. The point of this jar is that you put your worries into the jar and then there on God's to do list. What a wonderful concept. There are some pretty big things in there, but they are not mine to worry about anymore.
I am going to round out my list with this third item...learn not to keep tabs on things. Our biggest discussion usually revolves around Peanut and walking him at night. Such a dumb argument. But we consistently find ourselves there. Is funny because Ryan will do other things that I should probably do more of, for example, ironing my uniform. I hate ironing. I guess to keep this somewhat short, don't be concerned with tabs.
So, what have we learned? Marriage is not easy. Not in the least. Quite rewarding and a good learning process on how to handle one's self and child like behaviors. I have experience some pretty funny behaviors that would be considered childish to get my way. It doesn't work, and I can't believe Ryan could see through me!
I must say that I am also humbled by couples who have children. I pray for all of you often. We are going to have them someday and I hope we are as good as others I have seen!!!