Where or where have I been?

Hello to you my first blog and attempt at writing! I have missed you and I promise not be gone for this long again. While I have been gone I have been trying to figure out a few things.

First, after watching an Oprah episode on the food we eat and how we get it, I have decided I need to do something different. After attempting to grocery shop for an ice cream made with only ingredients that I could recognize, I have realized that this is not going to be easy. Everything is made with some sort of chemical. I might have to break down and make my own?! I really don't know if I am up for that.

Second, I have been lacking in motivation for my weight-loss goals. Where or where has my motivation gone? It has left me because I haven't really had a final goal. Coming up with that goal is a tough thing, isn't it? Maybe I should just do my thing and let it go. Anyway, I will keep thinking about that one.

Finally, I have been contemplating another long distance race to run. My problem has been my everlasting shin pain and once again motivation. So, how do I get myself there? Signing up for something or continuing to think about it? Ha, Ha.

I will put it to you my readers, yes there is more than one (I hope). How are you motivated?

If I were a handbag...what type would I be?

I was thinking the other day while I was walking into work about this question, "What type of handbag describes me?" Now, I am sure that some of you think that I need more to do in life, but really I don't. Pose this question to yourself...

I would say I am like a double handled medium tote. Not too big, not too small. Two handles for support and I would say this bag is somewhat structured on the bottom of bag. Now, you are saying to yourself, "How is this describe me?" Well, I would describe myself as a not too big, but not super small. Usually with totes they have a few compartments in order to put items in and I too have some compartments that file information into. Its located on the back wall of my brain. I can dump and put in only so much stuff into my brain before it needs to be organized and cleaned out. I do the same thing with my handbag. My type of handbag has a wide opening on the with maybe a zipper or a snap closure. I too can be really open to things or sometimes halfway or sometimes closed. Now, the reason for the slightly structured bag. I would describe myself as a mostly structured person, who enjoys going off schedule for added fun.

This is kind of a quirky idea, but its alot of fun to do. Just think of all the handbag types. Clutches, slings, backpacks, and many, many more!

My Weight Watchers Confessions

Hello everyone my name is Sara and I have not been a good Weight Watchers Lifetime member. I just need to be honest with everyone that cares. I should be upfront and state that I am also an employee and nothing I say reflects anything about the company, but just my person beliefs and experiences. Now that we have cleared that up, AMEN, for the new year. I am happy to be forced to be back on track. I have been swirling around trying to do too much and working too many days. I faithfully weighed in on New Year's Day. I paid the piper and now I have some work to do. In reality, I only really have a few pounds to lose to get back on track, but good grief. Since when is it ok to eat what I want,"Just because its the holidays?" Ha, Ha, I am thinking I am not alone here in my journey. That's the beauty of Weight Watchers. We know we are not alone. Its great. As of today, I have successfully tracked for two whole days! Yippee~ small successes are great. Maybe just maybe I can get to the goal weight that I have always wanted to get to. So, there you have it a small confession over and done with.
Now, onto resolutions...I have none except to continue to strive to make a better life for my family and myself. As of today, that is drinking more wine. Happy New Year's to you and yours.

Tis' the season for many things including my favorite, the year in review…I just love those video montages that each and every new s program does this time of year. I will actually sit still and watch them (which ask Ryan, doesn’t happen often). As I was doing some chores today I started thinking… what would my life have been like if everything that I wanted to happen happened…

First, I would be married to John Elway of the Denver Broncos. This would have been some serious legal issues with this one. Considering I was only in the 6th Grade with this fantasy started and I even had a song composed with to the tune of “Someday my Prince will come.” Who knows if that is the right title? I use to watch him play in the Superbowl with his long hair (because he wouldn’t cut it until they won), and horrible orange uniforms. I had a horrible orange sweatshirt with that horse coming out of the D. Good thing that didn’t materialize…

Second, I would have been married with children by the age of 25. I really have to laugh at this one looking back at this wish/goal. At 25 I was nowhere near being ready to be a wife or a mother. I guess in my teens I had considered 25 to be old. Now almost at 30 I guess I need to redefine old, because 30 isn’t it either. I would have not been a very calm wife or mother at 25. Not saying that I am the pillar of calm or most Zen person now, but looking back on life then, no way.

Third, I should be thankful that I listened to my mom about changing my life goals. My threshold of making it in life would be ownership of pager, cell phone, and a nice car. At that point in my life I would be important and I would be “somebody”. She set me straight by telling me that I could be a drug dealer and has all of those. I needed change the standards.

Lastly, I am to share with you the colleges I wanted to attend and the reasons, thank goodness it didn't happen. I was looking into Tennessee because I wanted to be a Volunteer. Duke because I wanted to watch another Christian Laettner play basketball. Another one would have been Ball State because they were known as the number one party school. I guess Harvard, Stanford and Brown weren’t ever on my radar, nothing about academics was a part of my original criteria. Funny to think about it now.

At least someone else is watching out for me and doesn’t let me get too far off the track. I can’t imagine changing my life in any way. I think Rascal Flatts says it best in their Broken Road song.
Enjoy your holiday season and be thankful for all the things that didn’t happen!

Self-Help Books

I have decided to come clean about my obsession with self-help books. I just can't seem to get enough of them. Not one particular author, but many and on many different aspects to fix my life. Its funny to me now to be writing this, because I am trying to figure out when this fascination started. I remember that one of the counselor I saw after my first panic attacks suggested a book on some topic. After I had read the book and completed all of the reflection questions at the end of each chapter I felt so completely empowered. Empowered to do so many things that I wouldn't allow myself to do. I had always convinced myself that I was afraid of things, such as heights, roller coasters, and anything else to fit the situation. Still glowing from my sense of empowerment and new found freedom, I went to Valleyfair with my best friends. I went on every single roller coaster, drop from the sky ride, and shoot you in the air ride at the park. I was on cloud nine.
As I sit here years later knowing all of the things that I have accomplished throughout the years of self-help book reading, I am a bit sadden by my subsequent choice to quit reading these books. I think I have been reading too much about the way things should be than experiencing the way things work for me. I appreciate all of the volumes that brought me to this place in life, even though there are not enough on how to deal with being fired from a job or dealing with the divorce of your parent, but I am respectfully not going to visit that part of the library or Barnes & Noble.
Hopefully, the amount of money I will not be spending in that section will not send it into foreclosure. For my sake, I am making the right move...freedom I am back again!
Now, if I could just get rid of my "to do list"....

The other day I was driving somewhere and noticed quite a few people standing on the street corner with cardboard signs up for food and money. I can't imagine how I would feel standing there asking people for money and food. I noticed the lady would not put her head up. She looked embarrassed and absolutely devastated. Some hold out there Veterans' card to prove their sign that states they are a veteran is correct. That same gentleman actually has a part of his sign that thanks people and lets people know he has made enough to feed himself for the day. My first question is about the thought process that gets people out onto Silverdale Way in Silverdale to ask for money and food? Does this mean that the food bank hasn't helped them or are they not taking advantage of these services? Or does it mean that we are running out of services? I wish I knew the answer and maybe that is my call to action. I don't think I can set out realistically to feed everyone, but maybe some.
My other complex problem is, " What if these people make more money on the corner than they would working?" I have heard stories of people makes hundreds of dollars begging on street corners in big cities and so part of me wonders about that thought. In all honest, Silverdale isn't really a big city...maybe they don't make hundreds. But, I wonder how much they do make?
For me it is better to error on the side that the people standing out there truly are in need of aid and other assistance for many reasons. I pray for them and their families.

Marriage

As I sit here tonight I want to talk about marriage. I should preface this to say that I have only been married for approximately 9 months. Yep, 9 months. I am not an expert in this field, but I think I might have something to add to the conversation. When I imagined what life would be like to be married, I guess I had that childhood fantasy type dream. We would never fight, we would never say a mean thing, and we would never....you fill in the blank. Now, I absolutely LOVE my husband and wouldn't trade him for the world, but I think people should know what they are getting into. I have to laugh because all of the "house" I played as a child was not a mimicking of what marriage is. My sister and I use to play all of the time. We were married to NFL players, Kelly was with Tommy Kramer and I was, of course, with John Elway. I have often thought that childhood games can somewhat prepare us for adulthood. This I have found is not always the case.
First, the most important thing for a successful marriage is communication and I don't think I am the first one to say that, but I will say its UNDERSTANDING each others' communication. I can say something and Ryan can answer and it seems like we agree but have said the exact opposite of what we really mean. Just writing this makes me laugh thinking of the times when we look at each other and state, "What are we talking about?"
The next most important item would be to relax. Now, I am a pretty up-tight and high-strung individual and Ryan isn't. This is why we work so well together. I freak out and it doesn't seem to phase him. I could only wish for this trait. But, the more I listen to him and watch him, the more I understand this concept. I was reading a daily devotional and it said I needed to have a worry jar. In this worry jar I put all of my worries on little slips of paper and then place them into this jar. Now, you can decorate this jar to make it more personal, etc.... I have not personalize mine, but I keep it where I can see it. The point of this jar is that you put your worries into the jar and then there on God's to do list. What a wonderful concept. There are some pretty big things in there, but they are not mine to worry about anymore.
I am going to round out my list with this third item...learn not to keep tabs on things. Our biggest discussion usually revolves around Peanut and walking him at night. Such a dumb argument. But we consistently find ourselves there. Is funny because Ryan will do other things that I should probably do more of, for example, ironing my uniform. I hate ironing. I guess to keep this somewhat short, don't be concerned with tabs.
So, what have we learned? Marriage is not easy. Not in the least. Quite rewarding and a good learning process on how to handle one's self and child like behaviors. I have experience some pretty funny behaviors that would be considered childish to get my way. It doesn't work, and I can't believe Ryan could see through me!
I must say that I am also humbled by couples who have children. I pray for all of you often. We are going to have them someday and I hope we are as good as others I have seen!!!